Women

After a while of not being on campus, going to class today specifically was a crazy ride.

I mean, if you didn’t know already, I live on campus.

Saying that, my class is only a 5-10 minute walk away.

Ya, a 5-10 minute walk of fitnah-fest to your right and left.

It’s so ridiculous, you get reminded of so many things.

I mean I try and do EVERYTHING I can to keep my attention averted.

It’s almost impossible to lower your gaze here.

I’ll just be walking by like I always do, and then something will catch my eye.

It’ll be her hair, clothes, sunglasses, whatever, and INSTANTLY the thoughts start to come.

Initially it begins with “Hey she’s pretty!”

But then you realize this and you all of a sudden change your train of thought.

“Whoa! Look at the grass and the trees! Subhanallah!”

Only guys can understand what I’m trying to say.

EVEN when I’m sitting in my freaking class trying to take my test.

The eyes start wandering and you make eye contact almost until the point where it’s like staring.

That’s probably the WORST thing that can ever happen.

I remember walking out of a class last semester, minding my own business, and for SOME reason or another, I turn to my immediate right.

Apparently, there’s a pretty girl there, and unfortunately for me, she’s staring right at me.

Now to the passer-by this may seem like just a mere glance, but wow that feeling lasts for an eternity.

Then the thoughts come.

“What the hell was that? That was like five seconds dude! God you’re so bad… no STOP THINKING STOP.”

And this is just WALKING AROUND campus.

I can remember back to high school now, it was way way way worse.

Because you have all the drama/cliques/friends.

And in Kerr, you were stuck with the same people for 4 years.

So everyone basically got to know everyone really, REALLY well.

Not a very good thing for the Muslim guy…

It’s hard for them, and you can’t tell me it’s not. It is the BIGGEST test we have to face on a day to day basis.

Why do you think all guys want to get married? “God guys are so perverted, when will they learn.”

“They’ll never get married at this rate, ugh.”

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. I can’t stand ignorance.

Do you know WHY they used to marry around 13-14 during the Prophet’s age?

Because that’s when you hit PUBERTY.

All guys think about at that age is SEX.

YES. SEX.

And when you’re put into an anti-Islamic environment like this, where sex is ENCOURAGED, what do you think will happen?

If the kids aren’t raised right, they’re going to fall so fast, it’s really not even funny.

There are Muslims committing zinna left and right, in front of our very eyes.

Everyone is blind for some reason. No one wants to speak out against the injustice.

I remember discussing my views of dating in that thread a while back on CY… I still hold the same views.

If you really believe guys are all Supermen and aren’t susceptible to women… man oh man is something wrong with you.

I’m sure almost every guy, including myself, has experienced some kind of incident with the opposite sex involving flirtation in their lives.

I don’t believe it’s possible not to.

That’s the point where guys either fall or stay standing.

The fact is, alot of our peers are involved in dating or were involved in dating.

You’re not going to get anywhere by completely denouncing it and labeling people who do this as kafirs.

They have to be led with a smile and a calm tone.

God sometimes I wish I could just take the stand at a khutba and talk about these things.

Who really cares about all the politics surrounding the elections and how they did it at the Prophet (S)’s time?

Why don’t they target US. THE UPCOMING GENERATION.

For some reason every single masjid keeps bringing back the same old uncles who have no idea how this country works.

I know their intentions are of the best, but we really need a reality check.

Attack the problem in our own community first. We’re not going to get anywhere without emphasizing that.

And as to women, I think they all need to wear hijab.

To be honest back in the day, I was literally scared of hijabis.

I would always wonder “Why the heck do they wear that… doesn’t make any sense…”

And, seeing hijabis only in Saudi Arabia, I just got the feeling that they were anti-guys and had no feelings.

I really felt as though they were robots. It’s so funny.

Even now, like it’s hard for me to even acknowledge they’re there. It sounds kinda weird I know, but I just don’t pay much attention to them, no offense.

I guess it’s the way I was brought up around hijabis. I never really talked to many, if at all, so to me they were just… “there” I guess. I don’t know any other way to put it.

I don’t even look at them… I don’t know if that ’s a bad thing or a good thing…

Fact is, it’s just that mentality at UH. I have no other explination for it.

I’ve met hijabis that are really outgoing and nice, they just seem to me like normal girls, and they’re not afraid to talk about stuff like school or events.

That really shocked me the first time… I don’t usually expect hijabis to come out of nowhere and start conversation with me randomly, because that doesn’t happen here. But after a while it helped me realize that hijabis are human too… some just hide themselves more than others.

But just the flat out respect they deserve, going through with wearing hijab everyday, I really don’t think they’re given enough credit for it.

So here’s me saying that I respect hijabi’s more than any other type of woman on this planet.

Masha’Allah, I think they’re all great Muslimahs and insha’Allah will become great mothers as well.

Oh and insha’Allah all women will wear hijab. =)

~ by The Anima on March 28, 2008.

4 Responses to “Women”

How about insha’Allah all men will lower their gazes so women won’t need to wear hijabs?

l khashya said this on March 28, 2008 at 10:48 pm

Assalam Walaikum

No offense but I don’t really understand the statement you made.

If all men were able to lower their gaze like robots, why would there be an ayah in the Qur’an specifically making hijab a fard?

There should have been something talking about how men should look down at the floor all day.

But there isn’t. Due to the fact that Allah (SWT) knows how we were created and KNOWS that men will in fact, NOT lower their gaze, because of human instinct.

However, it’s different if the statement was directed at me personally, in an indirect way.

If that’s the case, then let me indulge you in the fact that looking at women is an involuntary instinct. That is why you’re allowed that so called “one look” which is instinctive.

From there it becomes your choice of whether you want to keep looking or not, and that may be something you are held accountable for, Allahu ‘Alam.

Now if people aren’t aware, even if you look at someone for two or three seconds, you build an image of that person in your mind, almost instantly. Within that image are small intricate details you immediately notice, which makes it easy to understand why a person can recall a specific face and note the skin color, eyes, hair, etc.

This is what happens when you randomly walk around, instinctively noticing people. Or when you’re in class trying to pay attention to a lecture and a girl throws back her hair, or doing her make-up. Your eyes for one reason or another, are diverted to her, without even thinking.

That’s what I’m trying to describe.

Apparently from the view of the statement as an attack, that’s fine as well, we can jump to conclusions if we want.

Or the statement could also have been just a challenge to my statement that “Insha’Allah all women will wear hijab.”

So let me clarify. I meant that statement in the sense that women should cover their beauty and not expose it to the public, as we see around us everywhere we go.

Forgive me if it was offensive to you. I don’t think I meant it in the same way you were getting at.

Point is all men will never be able to lower their gazes, unless after the instinctive look. Challenging this fact contradicts human nature and the very ground rules of our creation.

Also, because the fact that this is a blog of my personal experiences and lessons learned in life, I simply write what I feel like writing. That’s the beauty of Freedom of Speech.

Once again, sorry to have made you angry. I hope you understand where I’m coming from. But it would be hard to do that if you weren’t a guy… now would it? Or maybe because of the fact that people actually don’t know what I’ve been through in life. Hmm?

If you still don’t understand my point of view then khalaas, let’s agree to disagree.

And Allah (SWT) knows best.

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