Good Manners at Home


Good Manners At Home


Spreading kindness in the home

‘Aa’ishah (RA) said: “The Messenger of
Allah (SAW) said:

‘When Allah (SWT) wills some good towards
the people of a household, He introduces kindness among them.'” (Reported
by Imaam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 6/71; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 303)

According to another report:

“When Allah loves the people of a household,
He introduces kindness among them.” (Reported by Ibn Abi al-Dunya and others;
Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 1704)

In other words, they start to be kind to
one another. This is one of the means of attaining happiness in the home,
for kindness is very beneficial between the spouses, and with the children,
and brings results that cannot be achieved through harshness, as the Prophet
(SAW) said:

“Allah loves kindness and rewards it in
such a way that He does not reward for harshness or for anything else.”
(Reported by Muslim, Kitaab al-Birr wa’l-Sillah wa’l-Aadaab, no. 2592)

Helping one’s wife with the housework

Many men think that housework is beneath
them, and some of them think that it will undermine their status and position
if they help their wives with this work.

The Messenger of Allah (SAW), however,
used to “sew his own clothes, mend his own shoes and do whatever other
work men do in their homes.” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 6/121;
Saheeh al-Jaami’, 4927).

This was said by his wife ‘Aa’ishah (RA),
when she was asked about what the Messenger of Allah (SAW) used to do in
his house; her response described what she herself had seen. According
to another report, she said:

“He was like any other human being: he
would clean his clothes, milk his ewe and serve himself.” (Reported by
Imaam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 6/256; al-Silsilat al-Saheehah, 671)

She (RA) was also asked about what the
Messenger of Allah (SAW) used to do in his house, and she said,

“He used to serve his family, then when
the time for prayer came, he would go out to pray.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari,
al-Fath, 2/162).

If we were to do likewise nowadays, we
would achieve three things:

* We would be following the example of
the Prophet (SAW).

* We would be helping our wives.

* We would feel more humble, not arrogant.

Some men demand food instantly from their
wives, when the pot is on the stove and the baby is screaming to be fed;
they do not pick up the child or wait a little while for the food. Let
these Hadith be a reminder and a lesson.

Being affectionate towards and joking with
the members of the family Showing affection towards one’s wife and children
is one of the things that lead to creating an atmosphere of happiness and
friendliness in the home. Thus the Messenger of Allah (SAW) advised Jabir
(RA) to marry a virgin, saying,

“Why did you not marry a virgin, so you
could play with her and she could play with you, and you could make her
laugh and she could make you laugh?” (The hadeeth is reported in a number
of places in the Saheehayn, such as al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 9/121)

The Prophet (SAW) also said:

“Everything in which Allah’s name is not
mentioned is idleness and play, except for four things: a man playing with
his wife.” (Reported by al-Nisaa’i in ‘Ushrat al-Nisa’, p. 87; also in
Saheeh al-Jaami’)

The Prophet (SAW) used to treat his wife
‘Aa’ishah (RA) affectionately when doing ghusl with her, as she (RA) said:

“The Messenger of Allah and I used to do
ghusl together from one vessel, and he would pretend to take all the water
so that I would say, ‘Leave some for me, leave some for me,'” – and both
of them were in a state of janaabah (impurity). (Muslim bi Sharh al-Nawawi,

The ways in which the Prophet (SAW) showed
affection towards young children are too famous to need mentioning. He
often used to show his affection towards Hasan and Husayn, as mentioned
above. This is probably one of the reason why the children used to rejoice
when he came back from travelling; they would rush to welcome him, as reported
in the saheeh hadith:

“Whenever he came back from a journey,
the children of his household would be taken out to meet him.” He (SAW)
used to hug them close to him, as ‘Abd-Allah ibn Jafar (RA) said:

“Whenever the Prophet (SAW) came back from
a journey, we would be taken out to meet him. One day we met him, Hasan,
Husayn and I. He carried one of us in front of him, and another on his
back, until we entered Madeenah.” (Saheeh Muslim, 4/1885-2772; see the
commentary in Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi, 8/56).

Compare this with the situation in some
miserable homes where there are no truthful jokes [i.e., jokes that do
not involve lying], no affection and no mercy. Whoever thinks that kissing
his children goes against the dignity of fatherhood should read the following
hadeeth: from Abu Hurayrah (RA) who said:

 “The Messenger of Allah (SAW) kissed
al-Hasan ibn ‘Ali, and al-Aqra’  ibn Haabis al-Tameemi was sitting
with him. Al-Aqra’ said: ‘I have ten  children and I have never kissed
any one of them.’ The Messenger of  Allah (SAW) looked at him and

‘The one who does not show mercy will not
be shown mercy.'”



This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s